Epic Workout

Faye and I are awesome.

I was going to leave it at that, because it so very well encapsulates everything about these photos, but I just can't help myself.

Faye and I in an attempt to stay fit while we're in Egypt have been trying out ideas to incorporate physical activities into our weekly routine. It started with going on speedy walks around our neighborhood, which quickly bombed because apparently two girls walking around in modest workout gear heeds a lot of unwanted attention. Then we tried running up and down the stairs in our building, but were chased off by a very knarly looking kitty. Then, an amazing thing happened, the door to the roof was left open. Think synchronized i-pods, a jump rope, happenstance obstacle course, sweatbands, and mad dancing. If you happen to have access to a roof, and know another fitness enthusiast, I highly recommend this physical program.

Items you will need: 2 iPods fully charged. 2 sweatbands (in preferably neon colors), one jump rope, a roof, tennis shoes, and an enthusiastic friend.

Synch iPods by choosing an album with your enthusiastic friend and then hitting play at the same time.

You and your enthusiastic friend warm up and psyche up.

To further the togetherness of this experience, rather than taking turns with the jump rope, try two at time. This exercise requires some skill and coordination, be careful not to strangle your partner.

Continue to merrily exercise by interspersing jump roping, running, and dancing while encouraging your partner with high-fives until you achieve a super hot bod.

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Why Burning Man is the Best Basic Training for Living in Egypt

• Burning man takes place in Black Rock City, in the middle of the Black Rock desert in Nevada. Cairo is located in the middle of the Western desert in Egypt.
• Most of the year the weather is hot during the day and cool at night. Be prepared to be sweaty and hot walking around in the sun, but feel the need to wear a jacket and a scarf at night.
• There are dust storms in both locations with white out conditions. At burning man, most people know better and carry with them some sort of dust mask, goggles, and/or bandanna. Here people are usually caught off guard, but are more prepared if they sport a head scarf. Either way, the wind starts blowing and you can see the clouds of dust/smog/trash start kicking up in the distance and you know to roll up the windows or run like hell for cover.
• No rules for traffic here or there. No one takes turns, no one stops (not even for pedestrians), and larger vehicles are usually packed with people like sardines in the most unsafe of fashions. It's a free for all!
  
• No matter how hard you try to keep doors and windows closed in your apartment/tent, a thin layer of dust manages its way into everything you own.
• You have to tote your own water everywhere. At Burning Man, you’re in the middle of nowhere, so the idea of running water or main water source is out of the question which means you have to pack and ration out the water you use for the duration of the festival. In Cairo, there is a large water source (the Nile), and running water is, yes, very much the norm, but think twice before you drink it. Even those who can tolerate the stuff avoid it due to the terrible chlorine smell and taste, as well as the rumor that it carries high levels of mercury. You'll be adding boxes of bottled water to your budget for sure.
• People are out till all hours of the morning and night.
• Events and people scheduled to be at an appointment or event may or may not be there. In most cases, all works out for the best, some of the people meant to be there show up, and it’s usually still a party.
• Bright, flashy, blinky things populate the landscape at night. We’re talking sensory overload. Burning Man, anything and everything from bicycles to domes to art cars to human beings are covered in shiny things. In Cairo, cabs, buildings, storefronts, small alleyways, clubs, etc. are all covered in bright flashy things. New store or shack openings are the best. Expect large speakers, terrible singers, and flashy old fashioned x-mas lights slung from the buildings above.
  
• Water bottle showers. At Burning Man, unless your equip with a fancy-smancy solar shower with an anti-grey-water tarp, plan on taking a shower with a water bottle. In Cairo, apartments come with all the typical necessities, including a shower and hot water heater, but sometimes, for no apparent reason, the water is turned off for random amounts of time. We keep a stock of 2 liter water bottles with tap water on Paul’s fridge for this very reason. In need of a shower? Heat tea kettle, carefully pour water into 3 or so water bottles, stand in tub…presto! Showering capabilities!
• Lazy? Shower only a couple times a week? Depending on the level of dust in the air, expect especially moldable hair. Who needs hair gel when you can do it the natural way with sweat and dust? Beware, supreme laziness, or lack of showering capabilities may result in unwanted dreadlocks.
• An intense feeling of dryness, especially on the hands and feet, that never seems to get better no matter how much lotion you put on. Again, it’s the dust. There it lives in your tent and your sleeping bag; here it lives in your furniture and your bed. Any moisture is absorbed immediately by dust.
• Incessantly dirty finger nails. At Burning Man, eh…that’s life…that’s what you get for attempting to live in the desert for a week in a tent. Here…dude this is civilization. You can’t go clubbin’ lookin’ like you just finished weeding your garden.
• An inability to take pictures at night with a flash. When developing photos, small blurry dots obstruct your view and ultimately ruin the image you were going for. Yup, you guessed it, dust.
• The cult-like gathering of people around a symbolic figure or thing. At Burning Man it’s “the Man” which is set on fire while thousands gather to run around it and have a huge inebriated/drug-induced celebration. In the Middle East it’s Mecca, essentially a black box where thousands gather to pray around each year.

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Paul's Debue Performance

Sometime last weekend, I had typed up a post, but the internet got all funky and I was unable to post it, so I'm posting it now.

I’m sitting at a café, and totally bored with the internet, and while I have nothing really titillating to talk about, I need something to do while I’m stuck here…so, I figured I’d blog.

Last night, Faye went to the Akon concert at the Cairo Opera House. I am not a fan, but it would have been fun to see a show in Cairo, especially since I have yet to go to the Opera house. May have been on the lucky side I didn’t make it though considering the comic disaster that ensued. Faye described it as encompassing “everything you love and hate about Egypt”. To start, Akon was supposed to perform at 9pm and wound up showing up 3 hours late due to Cairo traffic…hahaha…it’s always terrible on Thursday night. I have learned to fear the Thursday night cab ride, I can always count on panicking that I might pee myself or explode trying to hold it because we always wind up getting stuck for more than an hour. Anyway, after he got there, Faye said they heard a loud “plink-plink-plink-plink” and saw people running off the VIP stage. Apparently the two by fours supporting it began falling and the whole thing collapsed…but that’s not all, this happened to two other stages throughout the performance! But rather than people getting pissed off or canceling the show, people just moved and the concert kept going

Tonight we’re going to our friend Hesham’s for a house party, where Paul will be providing the musical entertainment. I keep telling him he needs to come up with a name, but he just rolls his eyes. He can’t be DJ Paul though…it’s boring and Egyptians can’t pronounce “P’s” so it always comes out “Boll”, which could easily be mistaken for the Arabic word for urine. Please post any and all comic/legit suggestions. ( I was told to enclose a disclaimer that Paul does not approve this message…so ummm, Paul does not approve this message, but send suggestions anyway for my viewing pleasure.)

Since I'm sure you're all wondering, Paul's performance went really well. However, Egypt picked that night to be the one time it rained, so we had to dance inside versus on the roof. He's kicking himself he didn't bring his DJ gear with him, but making due with what he has. Without an audio interface, he can't listen to the track before it's played to see how it synchs up so he gets to do everything blind. It was great to finally be out and listen to some decent music instead of hearing the same chart toppers stuff they play in all the clubs. Now our house is planning an epic 80's party to take place when my sister is here to visit. Paul is already compiling a playlist which is sure to be about as 80's as they come.

If anyone's interested, Paul has given me his playlist from his debue performance. It's not in the exact order it was played that evening, but it's got a lot of great tracks.

Start Something - Morten Sorenson
Beatific - Glass Candy
Get Yourself Together - Chaz Jankel
Itchy Hips (Original Mix) - Martin Rushent Presnts ‘Disco Unlimited’
Athene – Hercules & Love Affair
Girlsbug – Dances With White Girls
Like Some Dream (I can’t Stop Dreaming) – Daniel Wang
Toys (Richard Sen Remix) – Hedford Vachal
Happy House – The Juan MacLean
Tommy Boy – Strip Steve
Bonafied Lovin (Les Petits Pilous Remix) – Chromeo
Lights & Music (Boys Noize Happy Birthday Remix) – Cut Copy
Riddle Of Steel (Para One Remix) – Guns n’ Bombs
With You Forever – Pnau
Take Me Away – Joe And Will Ask?
Fancy Footwork (Laidback Luke Remix) – Chromeo
Music Sounds Better With You (12” Club Mix) - Stardust
Far Away (Damn Arms Remix) – Cut Copy
I Get Around (Ratcliffe Remix) – Dragonette
Pumps & Rumps (Zombie Disco Squad Remix) – Gameboy/Gamegirl
Side In (DFA Remix) – Goldfrapp
Into The Hollywood Groove (The Passengerz Mix) – Madonna
Live Fast! Die Old! (feat. Asia Argento) (The Juan MacLean Remix) – Munk
Descend – New Young Pony Club
Strangers (Strip Steve Remix) – Van She
Oh No! (PUZIQUe Remix) – Villeneuve
Theme From Space Island - !!!
My Girls – Animal Collective

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